Small Town Gossip



My heart broke as I read this article from the New York Times about small town gossip shifting from the diner to the internet.  It seems like people are getting much nastier when they can be anonymous.

Small town gossip ruins the lives of many people.  I grew up in a small town and wanted to leave it the whole time I was there even though it was a beautiful small town in a very nice place filled with many great people, great churches, a great school, and so on.  In a small town you were never given the chance to grow or change.  It seemed like there were many people who were not allowed to move past something in their family history. You lived forever with a small mistake or the time that you failed in a sport in junior high.

For all the beauty of a small town there is an ugly river of gossip, speculation, jealousy and hatred running through it.  (Read those words again slowly and you can name several examples if you live or have lived in a small town.)

It's nothing new.  We just happen to have the internet and instant communication available.  Before us it was the party line where you could listen in on your neighbors.  Before that it was the porch, the fence row, and (of course) church meetings.

How have you been hurt by small town gossip?  Yes, I will publish anonymous comments if you leave one.  I won't publish negative attacks on small towns, there is no reason to spread the hatred.  Do you have a story of small town gossip and how you overcame it?  Let it out and let it heal.

I am not discouraging living in a small town.  I live in a very small town right now.  I am very, very glad that my young children are growing up in a small town.  I am just incredibly saddened by the hatred, fear, and evil that is spread through gossip - no matter what the form.  And I think it is worse in the small town.  The way to change the game isn't to quit playing, it's to play it differently.

By the way, I am just as guilty of it as you are, and I am ashamed of it.

Gossip isn't just in the small town.  It's everywhere.  But it seems to hurt people even more when the town is smaller.  When you have three people and person A talks to person B about person C you have created a terribly small and painful world for person C.

Let's change that.

Comments

Joe Mathis said…
My parents were business owners in a small town and very active in the local church. Soon after I was born there was some horrible gossip that started about our family while we were on vacation. It led to us leaving the church, eventually selling the business and moving. God restores in an amazing way -- 30+ years later, my parents retired nearby and ended up going back to that same church. So much healing took place when they walked through the doors... I doubt the people who started the gossip ever had a clue what they had done -- it was based on overheard speculation and of course, money!
March 23, 2012 at 12:18 PM
Joe Mathis said…
My parents were business owners in a small town and very active in the local church. Soon after I was born there was some horrible gossip that started about our family while we were on vacation. It led to us leaving the church, eventually selling the business and moving. God restores in an amazing way -- 30+ years later, my parents retired nearby and ended up going back to that same church. So much healing took place when they walked through the doors... I doubt the people who started the gossip ever had a clue what they had done -- it was based on overheard speculation and of course, money!
March 23, 2012 at 12:19 PM
Joe Mathis said…
My parents were business owners in a small town and very active in the local church. Soon after I was born there was some horrible gossip that started about our family while we were on vacation. It led to us leaving the church, eventually selling the business and moving. God restores in an amazing way -- 30+ years later, my parents retired nearby and ended up going back to that same church. So much healing took place when they walked through the doors... I doubt the people who started the gossip ever had a clue what they had done -- it was based on overheard speculation and of course, money!
March 23, 2012 at 12:19 PM
Anonymous said…
Small towns are filled with small people, but also with people willing to give second chances and hearts and shoulders big enough to be supportive when the need is there. When our family went through a difficult time, thankfully more people were willing to speak God' grace to us than those who judged us. May all of you be as blessed as our family has been by the love and support of a small town!
March 23, 2012 at 1:48 PM
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